Before you have a panic attack over what to say at a wedding, know what is expected of you. This is going to depend on if you were asked to speak, your relationship to the wedding party, the wedding plan and whether you’re delivering a toast, a speech or a combination of the two.

A toast is a snap – raise your glass and say something classy about the person or people you are toasting. It should be short, no more than 30 seconds or so, and should lead the audience in a cheers to health, future happiness and the like. It can be witty or funny, a quote or straight from the heart. A friend’s toast to the newlyweds could look something like this: “To Mike and Susan, on their wedding day. May they share a life of health and happiness! We all wish you the very best. To Mike and Susan!” If you'd like to see more examples, we just published a list of wedding toasts.

A speech is longer, but shouldn’t be too long – two to four minutes is plenty. It has an introduction, a body and a conclusion, which is very often a toast. Rely on the tone of the situation and your relationship to the wedding party to guide your judgment regarding the tone of the speech content. If you’re a friend and the invitation to say a few words is offered to all, keep it short and sweet if you accept.

On the other hand, if you’re the father of the bride, or the groom, you have a little more latitude as to how long you may like to speak and what you’d like to say. And, that’s okay, because you’re going to have plenty of material as a result of your involvement in the event. If you need some help pulling your ideas together, or you still need some inspiration, try our interactive wedding speech-writing tool.